Relationship + Boys = Bloody Mess....

Relationships + Boys = Bloody Mess! That was the equation i've recently applied in my life. Siapa kata tak ada benda yang lagi susah dari equation E=mc Squared? Ada...and that is Emotion = Emosi.

Petang tadi..ade discussion on this very popular topic lah...RELATIONSHIPS! Lain orang lain lain pendapat. Ada yang cakap Relationships are all about give and take and tolerence [toleransi]. Pada aku it's just messy and headache. Nampak sangat yang aku ni judgemental dan pesimis dalam hal yang berkaitan chenta-chenta dan perasaan. Mungkin sebab aku pernah diketemukan dengan mereka-mereka yang akhirnya membuatkan aku jadi saaaaangat pesimis dan judgemental.

Kawan aku ada cakap...kalau ikut statistik, disebabkan hanya kerana 2 orang aku jadi macam gini...aku tak logik. Dan aku ni seolah-olah being very phobiatic[is there such a word?] against relationships. Maybe...

Getting hurt again and again is part of being in relationships. Or maybe a trial for the relationships. I have been hurt before and thats the main reason i build a wall around me. Is it my nature? I myself are not able to answer the question. Tapi...aku berpegang pada janji ALLAH. Setiap mahkluk tu dijadikan berpasang-pasangan. Samada jodoh itu cepat atau lambat.

Conclusion of the discussion? My friend assumed that my hadaf [goal] adalah andartu! No Relationships + No Boys = ANDARTU? FEMINIST?

Sangatlah kasar konkulsi kawan aku ni terhadap aku. Sebaik ajer die buat konklusi tersebut, Pencilbox aku melayang tepat kena dada dia! Doakan aku jadi ANDARTU lagi...!

An empath within me

I am not raedy to return back to UIAM for the second semester of 09/10. Seriously im kinda lacking lots and lots of enthusiasm to start classes and lectures. Two weeks spending in my home basically doing nothing else than watching the hit tv series 'CHARMED'. And besides watching charmed on youtube ive been doing nothing especially after getting know about MY results. Results that really killed my weekend,killed my spirit,killed my enthusiasm,killed almost half of my sanity and finally like adding salt to injury, it totally stepped on my esteem making me felt more inferiority complex to others especially my inner circle of friends.

Eventhough i have failed one paper during my 2nd semester [08/09] and yes it killed my day but what amazed me is that i did not shed even a single tear when i heard i failed yet another paper for this semester. I just dont feel the need of crying over a spilt milk. Maybe it was because that i have already forsee that i am goin to fail the paper that made me feel like not crying. Amazing isn't it?

Amused...i am amused with myself for not sheding a single tear for my failure. But hell yeah when people coming up to me saying " Alah...it's one paper you failed but you've aced an A for a paper..." Hahahahaha...its easier said than done isn't it? Well yes of course is it. Becuase it's goin to be my *&^ who's gonna sit for that paper but not u...what good is it anyway if u aced an A for A paper but yet you failed the other paper? Dosen't sound like a party to me. I dont care if the paper that i failed consist 1 or 0.5 credit hour but the things that bugged me is that i failed a 3 credit hour paper staright in two semesters!

Uuughh..i am totally pissed off! somtimes i wonder why those people who constantly said that they are not good enough but eventually in the end the scored the damn paper? Why is it always me???? I did not curse the lecturer...i came to his classes..i did what i've been told..but why this 'stuff' ended on me?!

"Hajat aku untuk dapat A untuk QPR tercapai..." WTH was that supposed to mean...i dont prayed it that way. What does it good anyway....Hmph!

Is is ANGST or just PARANOIA?

Model Hijrah Songsang? I don't think so!

Faizal Tahir.

The very name that made the malaysian music scene went absolute haywire. To those who have never heard about this particular person, let me introduced a little bit about him. He is someone who have the passion for music especially Rock music. He was a former member of a nasyid group called MIRWANA. Yes, he is from a nasyid group. BUT, technically he was not originally a nasyid singer. He so-called help those Mirwana guys since they were like room/housemates when they were studying in UiTM.For the sake of Ukhuwwah and brotherhood,he helped his mates.

But in 2006, he made a decision to 'leave' the group and went on pursuing his dream in making big as 'rockstar' and he joined a reality tv shows called One In A Million.So,What actually little naughty things he did until he was labelled as 'Model Hijrah songsang?'

Well, personally [this is a sincere thought. Dont make it a big fuss coz im ONE of his fans] everybody is not PERFECT. Nobody is PERFECT.We as a human being is full of short-comings and the unperfect character.So, we tend to do things that actually unintentional. Unintentional indeed.So back to the question, what sorts of naughty things that he did?He actually took off his shirt in front of the crowds!

Him during 8tv's 4th anniversary.

Tom welling in Smallville as Clark Kent.

The 'event' of him taking off his shirt caused a big stir in the malaysian music industry. Because of this incident he was banned from appearing in any tv shows or tv programmes. And he was required to do community work for three months [izzit?] Hmm..yes that was it.

So for me, to labeled him as 'model hijrah songsang' is a bit extreme. As years pass by, we can named certain artises that actually changed thoroughly. The female artises who do not cover their aurat especially the hair are now seen with a new image. They now appeared wearing hijaab as it is long instructed by ALLAH and seen as an obligation to our deen. But the questions that still lingers in my mind, if these kind of people [if] they had totally leave the hedonistic world and moved to more spiritual world, why is it that they are still active in singing..acting and even hosting? If you made the choice of leaving it than why are you still clinging onto it? Don't tell its the only way for you to support your family. Please read the first hadith of Nawawi's 40 hadith. Innama A'malu binniyyat! Intention are not subjected to made what is wrong to be permissable. And those other artises [not mentioning names] mainly females. Look at their clothes! Some stuff that are not supposed to be revealed are sometimes revealed for the sake of fashion. Then why is it i've never heard of any female artises that wore skimpy outfit that revealed almost everything had to be banned from making an appearence in tv programmes and are required to do community works?

Double standard. That is the only think i could think right now. Back at FT, why is it people still making such a big fuss regarding this issues? For heaven sakes, he already rectified his mistakes and what more do you want him to do? I mean he just took off his shirt not his pants! Maybe this kind of an act may trigger the sensitivity of the malay community. But female artises wearing such figure tight clothes would be okay lah as long as they dont revealed the asset kot??

Thank God he was laidback with the problems and anwered to every question with modesty to proof that he is educated.

To make things clear, this entry is written due to my personal thoughts. I may be his Fan, but this entry,[may look like im backing him] is nothing. JUST a thought that lingers in my mind.

And i decided to post it

.

He is talented. So please appreciate his talent and his love for musics.

P/s: Sorry if i had to post in english coz i juz found out that i had a follower who seems having trouble in Malay. He may understand a bit lah but mostly cannot since im not using standard malay like in kamus but used every day Malay usage. =)

CoMfOrT zOnE.

Semakin kita membesar kita dah mula kenal erti makna ‘kehidupan’ yang sebenar. Kita sudah mula kenal yang mana satu kawan dan yang mana satu lawan. Kita sudah mula mengenal erti siapa kawan yang benar-benar kawan dan mereka yang datang sekejap-sekejap ajer. Umpama..hujan panas. Datang secara mengejut,lepas tu buat kita demam. Ahahaha..demam yang tak sudah-sudah. At least klw terkena hujan panas lepas tu kite pergi klinik, makan ubat lepas tu insyaAllah lah kita akan sembuh. Tapi macam mana klw terkena sindrom penyakit kawan yang bagai hujan panas ni? Ade ke ubatnyer?

Ade sesetengah kawan yang kita berdamping dengan dia tak kesah lah pagi ker..tengah hari ker..malam ker..kat mana ade kite mesti dia ade. Bak kata Afdlin Shauki, teman macam ni ibarat ‘kawan ketika panas dan kawan ketika hujan’. Cool analogy huh? I Loike it very much. So, persoalnanyer, berapa lama harus kite kenal seseorang kawan itu supaya kita sudah bole ‘masukkan’ dia didalam ‘lingkaran’ comfort zone kite? 2 tahun? 5 tahun? My answer is 10 tahun. Waduh...lama banget sih! Ya..for safety reasons. Sebab yang da kenal kita 10 tahun ni lah dia dah tau aku macam buku biography. Pendek kate dari awal kulit buku tu sampai lah kulit buku yang paling belakang.

Comfort zone. Comfort zone aku cume untuk mereka2 yang tak pernah mempersoalkan kenapa itu dan kenapa ini apabila aku ceritakan sesuatu dekat mereka ni. Dorang takkan condemn sape yang aku suke atau lagu jenis mcm ape yang aku suke dengar. Dorang tak bising. Tapi dorang support. Itu adalah mereka yang aku benarkan untuk mencemarkan duli masuk kedalam lingkaran comfort zone aku.

I dont know if i’m being paranoid or self concious ker..tapi sumtymes,i wonder,Salah ke klw aku minat kat seseorang tuh? I mean minat dari jauh. Kenapa mesti orang pertikaikan keminatan..[? keminatan? Ade ke perkataan tu dlm kamus B.M?] aku? Suker hati kucing aku yang kat rumah lah aku nak minat saper pon. Bukkannyer berkudis pun klw aku minat dia. Aku minat die gtu-gtu ajer. Okay some may label me as a fanatik fan lah atau pun kipas susah nak mati lah or whatever you may call it lah..tapi klw setakat aku melayari [fuh pengunaan bhse!] internet untuk masuk ke webpage I AM A SUPEROCKENSTEINERS utk mengetahui aktiviti sang superman,salah ke? Klw setakat aku tau yang die ade 3 anak dan satu isteri...salah ke? Klw aku minat adek sang superman pun..salah ke? FYI, ade banyak lagk kipas susah nak mati die tu yang berlambak-lambak dekat K.L tuh. And im not one of them. [denial secara terbuka ke ni??] . Im just a humble supporter which according to my friend zeid, that superman does not even know that i existed.

Sekali lagi..comfort zone aku hanya untuk sahabat aku yang seorang sahaje. Dimana dia tak pernah pertikaikan kegilaan aku..kesengatan aku..ataupun ape2. All i know she’s been supporting me ever since zaman tok kaduk lagih. Sebab segala hikayat penglipulara aku ni dia tau.

Masing-masing punya masalah sendiri...
Masalah dunia masalah peribadi...
Luahkan jangan simpan dalam hati...bole cerita di kedai kopi..
Tiada hakim..tiada saksi cerita sensasi di kedai kopi...

[Blessed Malique a.k.a QueChill & Salam for the unlimited DOPE lyrics!]

Mari kite BERSELAWAT.

Ahahaha..remember my previous,previous posts? The one i post a blog on ANAS TAHIR? The one that i've promoted to those who visited my blog and later visits his youtube? Lepas tu aku kene sound kaw-kaw dengan seorang hamba ALLAH supaya jangan post bende2 yang tak berfaedah contoh paling terdekat [Anas Tahir's videos...KOQ!] dan lepas tu aku kene sound lagk kaw-kaw tahap langit petala lapan sebab aku post blog pasal [boy drools but girl rules] hinggakan aku terpakse buat lagk satu blog dan membuat pemohonan maaf secara terbuka..tapi aku tak cakap lah yang aku takkan post lagk entry2 mcm tu tapi tak lah dlm mase terdekat nih...

Aku cume akan post entry mcm tu bile KEPALA AKU TENGAH BERASAP aje. Klw tak, aku takkan post blog mcm tu.

Okay.. hari ni aku nak kasi korang dengar lagu ni. Ni bukan lagu baru tapi dah lame jugaklah. Lagu dari WALI BAND [yang nyanyi lagu CARIK JODOH. Lagu ni dorang buat sempena menyambut Bulan Ramadhan la tapi aku baru dapat tau dari bestfriend aku. Sebab die memang dah kenal aku luar dan dalam. Senang cakap die kenal aku macam biography lah..mula dari kulit depan sampai kulit belakang lah. She said to me that i would like this song and YES. Instantly aku suke. Sebab LIRIK dier.

And ya..this song takder 'KOQ!' takder 'sesi kutuk-mengutuk' atau pun 'merosakkan lagu orang lain'...lagu ni lebih kepada EHEM,yang baik. Rase2 dapat pahala kot? =)



Kepada yang selalu pikir aku ni tak betol, sila-sila lah tengok videoclip ni.
Segile-gile aku melayan ANAS TAHIR,aku dengar jugak lagu cam ni.

Last but not least, Aku tak suke orang pertikaikan klw aku suke FT dan AT. Suker hati aku lah nak suker saper. YAng penting aku tak merosakkan harta bende awam dan kacau orang. Let me be in my own world. Dunia yang aku happy. Dunia yang aku suke sendiri-sendiri. AT LEAST aku hanye KIPAS SUSAH NAK MATI FT. Bukan STALKER die pun. So...aku tak suke orang yang tak suke aku suke FT.
One thing. JUST LEAVE ME in MY own WORLD.

Pemohonan maaf secara terbuka.

O....kay...

Sejak aku post entry tentang yang tak berapa baik [ Tak berapa baik? Tapi entah lah..malas nak cakap lebih2 karang kene gam tak pasal2 lah pulak.] Aku adelah dapat teguran,nasihat dan berbagai kata2 yang agak urmm baik lah agar aku tidak meneruskan aktiviti-aktiviti meng'post' gambar2 yang menyentuh sensitiviti kaum Adam nih.

Seperti yang telah aku katakan dekat entry aku yang lepas..Syaida bukanlah seorang feminist yang ekstremis atau pembenci lelaki atau anti-lelaki ke ape kan. Yelah cume alergi aje. Alergi yang takde ubatnyer. (",) Setelah merujuk kepada kamus Oxford, edisi terbaru, mukasurat 233 coloum yang pertama baris ke 13, Feminst membawa maksud " advocacy of womens right and sexual equality". Syaida bukan seorang pejuang wanita dunia sejagat dimana dia membawa sepanduk mengutarakan akan hak perempuan atau pun membuat demonstrasi haram kat mana sambil lantang menjerit menuntut keadilan wanita. Syaida hanya duduk di depan lappynya sambil post that harmless picture. Aku takdepun mengeluarkan isu-isu berat. Salah ke?

Jenayah ke aku post that picture? Mungkin sesetengah kate...takpelah. Blog kau. Suker hati lah nak tulis ape pun. Btol pon. Suara kat dalam kepala aku mengiakan. Aku bukannya racist pun.

Tapi yelah..mane ade orang perfect kan? Semua orang buat salah. Semua orang buat silap. Itu cara kita jadi matang. Itu cara kita membesar.

Aku dah mula sakit kepala. Sakit kepala sebab layan orang yang memperbesarkan isu yang sebenarnye kecik. Orang lain diam tak berkutik, dia pulak yang marah aku ala-ala macam aku dah calarkan kereta dia. Aku tak suke sakit kepala sebab bende yang remeh-temeh. Kenapa terasa? Kenapa tetibe rase macam hati tu seolah-olah ditusuk dengan pedang samurai?

"Ni dah case tergolong dalam mencaci orang. Salah disisi agama" Huh? Pulak da..aku dah dikategorikan sebagai pencaci orang lah pulak...tapi takpe. Aku tak kesa. Aku tak kacau orang.

Buat bodoh aje lah Syai...orang ade mulut. Biarlah diaorang nak cakap ape. Sebab mulut ni tak bole nak ditutup.Lainlah tempayan. Senang jer nak tutup. Better kau layan Anas Koq punye video daripada kau layan orang tu. Gelak ajer tak lah sakit-sakit kepala.

Its hard to please people. *Sigh*

Maaf kepada yang terasa. Blog entry tersebut hanya untuk back-up kwn2 prmpn aku yang telah dihancurkan hatinyer. Tak berniat nak menghentam sesiapa especially kaum Adam yang terasa diri mereka yang tak patut dilabel "boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them" mintak ampun banyak-banyak.