Patut ke aku lancar kempen merajuk dekat mereka-mereka yang si hantu tu rapat? Seriously right now im feeling rather pathetic than usual. Pathetic yang teramat sangat. I simply could not elaborate what are my feelings right now. Is it genuine or not. Well for a start, my feelings terhadap si hantu sekor tu makin hari makin berkurangan. I guess its a good sign lah kan? Alhamdulillah sebab dah berkurangan and tak stagnant macam dulu. Tapi aku tak deny yang kadang-kadang tu ade lah jugak ingatan-ingatan yang aku cube nak delete dari kotak memori aku ni muncul. Muncul gitu-gitu ajer. I guess its just in the ‘kenang-kenang’ mode. Kalau lah otak aku ni macam programme laptop, dah lama aku delete semua ingatan aku kat die and aku letak anti-hantu punye firewall. Bukan setakat die yang tak bole tembus, tapi dengan ingatan-ingatan tentang die sekali tak bole tembus! Puas hati!
All my life, this have been the greatest lesson ever. And as a history student,i dont wish this particular history would repeat itself...well this is all im going to bable about the hantu. Shall we jump to next phase of my life since 5 months ago? Okay. So, ape yang telah terjadi? Macam-macam. I have a question which i guess most of us could not answer. The question is “Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection is too hard to handle?” My answer would be yes.
I simply could not justify my feelings right now. I dont even know what ever thing is growing inside me. Is it a school girl crush? Is it Love? Or simply a rebound? But i am certain that it is not a rebound. My feelings towards him just grew without any warning. I would appreciate if there is a warning sign around. My bestfriend thinks that im all in the lovey dovey mode and im falling for him. Which i dont deny. Yes. He is bloody captivating eventhough he can be bloody sacarstic at times. But i do not have a choice instead of confessing [that would be very bold isn’t? Im not that bold enough to confront him.] i had to deny my feelings. Everyday when i woke from sleep, i had to remind myself to deny whatever feelings that lays in my heart. Eventough it can be hurtful to deny my own feelings, i guess its a good practise from not getting hurt again. Past experiences taught me not to be easy with guys. They can be charming. They can be sweet. They can even be pain in the ass sometimes. =]
I prayed for him in my prayers which im very,very,very ashamed towards ALLAH. I pray for a guy instead of praying to get ‘rahmah’ from him. Sheesh...but i could not help it! Hahahaha..this is very weird! So urmm..i guess im being very pathetic right now. Simply pathetic!!!..
So..i guess i’ll continue later..Cherrios mate! (^_~)
All my life, this have been the greatest lesson ever. And as a history student,i dont wish this particular history would repeat itself...well this is all im going to bable about the hantu. Shall we jump to next phase of my life since 5 months ago? Okay. So, ape yang telah terjadi? Macam-macam. I have a question which i guess most of us could not answer. The question is “Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection is too hard to handle?” My answer would be yes.
I simply could not justify my feelings right now. I dont even know what ever thing is growing inside me. Is it a school girl crush? Is it Love? Or simply a rebound? But i am certain that it is not a rebound. My feelings towards him just grew without any warning. I would appreciate if there is a warning sign around. My bestfriend thinks that im all in the lovey dovey mode and im falling for him. Which i dont deny. Yes. He is bloody captivating eventhough he can be bloody sacarstic at times. But i do not have a choice instead of confessing [that would be very bold isn’t? Im not that bold enough to confront him.] i had to deny my feelings. Everyday when i woke from sleep, i had to remind myself to deny whatever feelings that lays in my heart. Eventough it can be hurtful to deny my own feelings, i guess its a good practise from not getting hurt again. Past experiences taught me not to be easy with guys. They can be charming. They can be sweet. They can even be pain in the ass sometimes. =]
I prayed for him in my prayers which im very,very,very ashamed towards ALLAH. I pray for a guy instead of praying to get ‘rahmah’ from him. Sheesh...but i could not help it! Hahahaha..this is very weird! So urmm..i guess im being very pathetic right now. Simply pathetic!!!..
So..i guess i’ll continue later..Cherrios mate! (^_~)
