Membesar dan belajar untuk membesar adalah satu perkara yang sangat sukar. Proses membesar mengajar kita banyak benda. Benda yang cikgu korang takkan ajar dalam kelas. Pengalaman akan menjadi cikgu sebenar korang and eventually all of you akan gradutae from the streets and attained a degree where all of you obtained through mistakes,experience and fights.
So, semalam, i had a very nice chat with a dear friend of mine. Well, kite takkan duduk sambil buat ‘conference’ dekat HS square if it wouldnt be her question which slurrped out of curiousity when we were heading back to our respective mahallah. In front of Celpad she curiously asked me “Kenapa tadi kau cakap yang kau takkan kahwin selagi tak ada special someone [boy-friend]?” Heh..Touche. So, aku jawab “I used to against people who dive into relationships. I knew in my heart it was wrong. Our religion forbids it. Dan aku, aku adelah selemah-lemah manusia sebab tak berani nak tegur. Aku tak practise amal ma’aruf nahi mungkar. Dan itu adalah selemah-lemah iman. Dan, aku dah terkena batang hidung sendiri. So, korang dah besar. Ada akal. Boleh fikir.” Dan aku stop and look at her. Yes. I did not answer her question directly. Aku jawab macam ular. Okay, at last aku jawab “Its not just me. It had become an issue. Ramai tanya aku, macam mana kita nak kahwin kalau kita tak ada matair? Couple ni salah kan? Dan how in the world are supposed to get to know him kalau kita tak bercouple?” Haaaa...theroy aku, kawan.
Cakap pasal kawan ni, tak kesah lah korang nak label friendship korang as ape. Teman tapi mesara ke, hi-bye ke, FB punye style of kawan ke...suka hati korang. Previously, aku ade terbaca satu blog. A law student’s blog and shes GUED. Made me think a lot though about her posts. She once wrote that goes like this [lebih kurang la] Tak semestinya kalau kita berkawan dengan seseorang tu, kita mampu untuk takluk dia. Mampu masuk ke dalam hati dia. Mampu untuk memahami dia. Tapi, kalau dia tak nak kasi korang masuk, give yourself ten years of friendship pun jangan ingat dengan mudah korang boleh masuk kedalam hati dia.
Well, that happened to me before. I used to be friends with this guy. Tapi.....sebelum aku bukak cerita pasal mamat sorang nih yang dah banyak berdrama dengan aku selama empat tahun lama, meh kita patah balik pergi dekat cerita aku dengan kawan aku yang tiba-tiba tak jadi nak balik dan kita dua orang tersadai dekat HS square. She asked me “Kau tak nak cuba?” Aku geleng dan aku jawab “We are not incompatible. We are from two different worlds.” The friend of mine just smiled. Aku tau its hard to tell sebab benda-benda yang berkaitan dengan HATI ni, kita tak boleh nak force dia and you know what, the BIG guy up there, he works in the most mysterious ways! Then she told me, What ever feelings that resides or currently grew in your heart, remember, you did not asked for it. It came from HIM. Yes. That is the issue. The main question right now is that should i or shouldn’t i?
Okay, patah balik dengan cerita mamat yang banyak drama aku involoved dengan dia. Ni sebagai reflection untuk diri aku. The very sentence yang menghantui aku sekarang. ”If only i’ve said whatever things i should have said to him, things would be diffrrent now.” Haaaaa..kawan aku cakap “Syai, did you or not learn from your mistakes?” Aku angguk. “I dont want to be in that position again. Im afraid i may go bonkers!” She laughed. Than she continued “Syai, try dulu. Jadi atau tak jadi belakang cerita. Kau usaha lah. Jodoh tak datang bergolek seh. Aku tak nak empat tahun akan datang, kau akan mengeluh dan cakap’if only i made the first move’.” Betul gak. Sampai bila aku nak stagnant macam ni?
And now, i need to listen to Faizal Tahir!
No comments:
Post a Comment